Picture, if you will, crazed and glassy-eyed throngs of holiday zombies driving gigantic SUVs and lumbering for a single narrow parking space between a Jaguar and a BMW 7 series.
Somehow, le-mum-du-football is backing up her Chevy Suburban like she has a CDL and is used to handling the big rigs. Her kids are sedated in the back seats with video games and DVD players in the center console.
As soon as their entertainment stops they begin screeching like endangered species on the verge of extinction.
Le-mum-du-football corals them together to make the long trek from the parking lot through the front door of Jim-Bob’s Emporium of Expensive Plastic Shit.
The parking lot gets 3 decibels quieter.
Now for the kicker.
Multiply that times 10,000.
Happy Holidays,
- Dave
